The Greatest Show on Earth..

Roll up, roll up. Gather round and witness the most entertaining event ever to happen. And here is your host..

Captain Mister "Heart Attack" Hand!

After a very lacklustral gore-formance its no surprise that Hand's body decided it wanted to try killing itself. Perhaps if he ate more shit he'd be dead today. So the moral is, if you want Hand to die, feed him more shit.
To explain, last night doctors told him that he had suffered a mild stroke in the early hours of the morning. His shooting pains developed into a wretching, convulsing kind of state or something and subsequently the left side of his face seems inactivated.
Maybe now he'll be a bit wrong. But I'm sure he'll be fixed. Poor Hand. Why do such problems attack the innocent? He performed better than everyone else last night.
But in criticism, he was a bit selfish to wait so long. If he'd had his heart attack onstage, it would've raised the profile of the show!

Gorehorse Fraterno Hand Goruguayaanse